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Dear Cheryl,
My two boys, fifth grade and seventh grade, recently brought home their school portraits. I complimented them for their good looks and cheerful demeanor, but I also pointed out that their neckties were crooked, and their hair was a mess. I want my kids to grow up with good jobs and good friends, and, in the moments before speaking, I thought the value of my commentary was to teach the importance of personal appearance. I appreciate the social movements teaching self-acceptance, but I have a hard time understanding where self-love transitions to self-respect. Of course, I don’t think my children are slobs, only that sometimes they do sloppy things. Am I projecting my perfectionism onto my children? Or am I trying to balance values that are not greater and lesser but are simply different?
Many thanks for any direction,
Stephanie
Hi Stephanie,
You have a Capricorn sun, Gemini moon and Pisces ascendant. I can see from your chart that being a nurturing person is essential to your personality. Your chart also shows how you go about caring for and nurturing others, as well as how you approach taking care of the children in your life. So I can see your mothering style, but I cannot really tell how your children react to this without seeing their charts and comparing them to yours.
The main planet to look to when it comes to mothering is the moon. The moon tells how people nurture and how they experienced their own upbringing by the mother figures in their lives. Your Gemini moon is in your third house and has aspects to several planets as well as the ascendant and midheaven. Gemini and the third house are very much about communication. You feel that showing love requires that you be heard and understood.
You show your love for others by teaching them what you know. You have many strong aspects to your Mercury, so your communications have some serious force behind them. It is good for you to be mindful when communicating that your words might be received with more intensity than you intended.
You are a natural with young children and are able to present teaching material in an entertaining way. You have a Capricorn sun in the 10th house, so you are no stranger to being the boss, but your Gemini moon has a childlike, playful energy. Sometimes you might have to remind yourself to just relax and play, especially when it comes to your children.
The fifth house in a person’s chart shows how they deal with children. In your case, the fifth house has the sign of Cancer on the cusp, which is ruled by the moon. There are no planets in your fifth house. People sometimes are alarmed when they see that there is an “empty house” in their chart, but it is normal to have houses where there are no planets, and there will still be plenty of activity in that area of life.
One of the most dominant aspects in your chart is your moon/Uranus opposition. This indicates that your own mother was probably exceptional in some way. It could be something fabulous or something difficult, but certainly she was remarkable. That same aspect shows your emotions and your style of mothering.
You are restless and have a need to stir things up. This is an aspect that is hard on relationships of all kinds. You are very ingenious and have a need for variety. This can be both wonderful and unsettling to the people in your life, including your children. You have a great capacity for change, but if your children do not have that same flexibility, there could be stress.
You appreciate cleverness and are clever yourself. Conversation is the perfect way for you to feel close to your children, and it’s important to keep it lively so that none of you become bored. I can’t tell how they benefit from this without seeing their charts, but from your perspective it is what you can best offer and will make you feel loved and loving.
If you are dealing with an introvert, or someone who likes to process information slowly, things could get strained. Even the nicest personality traits can be an issue at times. The trine between your moon and your Venus shows that you have a need for harmony and a pleasant atmosphere, but there is some danger of avoiding confrontation. This could be difficult if you are dealing with an individual who needs direct communication in order to feel like they are standing on steady ground.
Your moon in aspect to your Mars shows that you have a natural executive ability and lots of energy. You could be somewhat capricious, which gives you an appealing, lively personality, but a child who needs a more steady-as-she-goes treatment may feel jarred by your behavior. On the other hand, this could be exactly what your child needs.
Best,
Cheryl
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Cheryl Fair is a multi-disciplinary artist and professional astrologer living in Baltimore. She is a member of the National Council for Geocosmic Research (NCGR) and Mensa. For more information, check out her website https://cherylfairastro.com/.
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