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Dear Santa,
How are you? It’s Leslie Gray Streeter! You know, the little girl from Baltimore who used to write you very, very specific Christmas lists that included the exact page and item number in the catalogue? I know you’re Santa and you know everything, but it never hurts to have it all in writing.
Anyway, you know that Amy Grant song ”Grown-Up Christmas List,” where she asks for the end of war, loneliness and universal healing of all hearts? I’ve loved it since I was in college, when it was released during the first Gulf War. Three decades later, the world’s perhaps even more of a mess. And as a bona fide mortgage-holding, child-raising, gainfully-employed grown-up, I absolutely want to ask for every good, kind and humanitarian thing Amy asked for.
(I also want to ask for a pony or a new megahit album for Amy, who made news this week for the loving and heartwarming act of hosting her niece’s same-sex wedding at her home, and people are freaking out. She’s a gem.)
But since you’re in the giving business, and this seems to be a time of magic, I’d like to elaborate on Amy’s general sentiment and throw in a few things for myself, too. I hope that’s not super presumptuous, but since you’ve got that sleigh and all, here’s a few more ideas to fill it with. I promise, I’m on the nice list. Most likely. We’ll talk.
1) World peace: I know it’s a cliche right out of a beauty pageant, but it bears repeating, because there’s so much wrong. There’s still war in the Ukraine, and missiles in North Korea. Here in the U.S., there’s so many mass shootings that when you mention one, people ask which one you mean. Of course, closer to home in this city I love, we’re killing each other at an alarming and tragically record-breaking clip. It’s a big ask, and I know we should deal with the messes we’ve created. But if you can do something this year, I promise to floss more, and stop thinking those things that go through my head when I’m driving on the JFX. And while we’re at it ...
2) No more bigotry of any kind: Most of the aforementioned threats to world peace would be obliterated without hate. And I mean all of it. Racism. Anti-LGBTQ hate. Sexism. Any discrimination based on religion or lack thereof, national origin, disability, language, politics or any other thing that keeps us from seeing each other as human. I can’t think of one good reason for bigotry and hatred to exist, and wouldn’t it be great to completely clear out that naughty list?
3) Magic elves that will clean my house for free: As a single mom, it seems like the laundry and dishes regenerate at will, and every time I lose the remote under the couch I find more dust. I can’t afford staff, but since you’re solving war and racism and the elves responsible for putting coal in stockings will need something to do, send a couple of them my way. I have my own Swiffer!
4) All the gifts I used to not want on “The Price Is Right”: When I was home sick from school as a kid, I used to love watching Bob Barker give out prizes to screaming people in matching T-shirts, especially if those prizes were Camaros, speedboats and all-expenses-paid trips to Disneyland. Alternatively, I felt bad when anyone won new washer/dryers, living room sets or blenders. But at 51, when I’m watching Bob’s longtime replacement Drew Carey, I’ve changed my tune. I would like all of your appliances, KitchenAid stand mixers and vacuums. Although I would not turn down that Camaro.
5) An end to homelessness and hunger, and unlimited funds to treat mental illness: According to Baltimore organization Continuum of Care, there were more than 1,500 people unhoused in the city on just one night in February this year. As the temperatures continue to drop, I can’t imagine a better gift than to have those people housed, fed and with their underlying needs addressed, whether that’s mental health treatment, employment or more. Comfort and joy are meant for all, not just those of us who can afford it.
6) An end to COVID-19: Because it’s not over.
7) A magical parking space: I got my catalytic converter stolen this year, because I don’t have a garage or secure parking space. (And also because people suck and shouldn’t be stealing stuff off people’s cars because, you know, it’s not your car.) If you can deliver presents to every child on the globe, you can figure out some way to cover my poor Prius in an impenetrable force field.
Just like when I was a kid, this is a humble request, not a list of demands. I am blessed to live in the city of my choice, with a happy and healthy child in a home that I own while I work my dream job. I believe there is enough magic to go around, but if you need to spread it to someone who needs it more, I understand. If you just have time for a few items, please prioritize world peace and eliminating hate.
Although I really could use a new washer/dryer.
Love,
Leslie Gray Streeter
leslie.streeter@thebaltimorebanner.com
Leslie Gray Streeter is a columnist excited about telling Baltimore stories — about us and the things that we care about, that touch us, that tickle us and that make us tick, from parenting to pop culture to the perfect crab cake. She is especially psyched about discussions that we don't usually have. Open mind and a sense of humor required.
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